the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So much rum. So many feels.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
