I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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