she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
