i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
whose ass print is on the piano?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
