i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
