im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
