And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
