Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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