So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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