Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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