I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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