The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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