idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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