My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
