My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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