Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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