I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I got inside last night via doggy door
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
