I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
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