You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
