Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Randomize
