This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
