to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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