no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
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Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
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Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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