eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
