After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
