That's when you crack a 10am beer
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
