I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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