It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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