Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
