She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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