just come out here and I will go home with you...
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
