I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
