dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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