I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
