whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
