So drunk, too bad you don't want this
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
