i just had sex bonerless
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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