But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
