U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
