So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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