Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
