I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
