My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
