Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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