You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
