TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
