dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
