PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
