Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
