Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
