I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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