Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
