Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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