wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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