I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
