garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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