Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
