who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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