your thong is hanging out like whoa
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
