My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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