I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
