Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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