I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
it's like heaven, but drunker
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
