i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
