i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
