Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The uberlube is also flammable
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
